Hero? I think not.
Why you shouldn’t go see Superman Returns:
It f*cking blows, everything that happens is totally unbelievable. Sure, it’s Superman, but can Superman lift a f*cking continent with his two arms without breaking a sweat? DC Comics seems to think so. Also, it’s 2 and a half (or so) hours long filled with a lovey-dovey cliche crap-pot of Superman and the not that hot Lois Lane. Superman never has any troubles doing what he needs to when danger calls, and even (spoiler ahead) when exposed to kryptonite, that deadly green sh*t. He doesn’t freaking die. That sh*t is stuck in his freaking back like 6 inches deep, but all he does is moan and groan like he’s on his period. Also, the writers of the movie tried to come up with clever little sayings such as, “The son becomes the father, and the father the sun.” WTF man. The father becomes the sun? Oh that’s cool. So at the end what does Superman do? Fly into the m-fing sun. How clever. Guys, this movie isn’t terrible, but it’s not what it’s hyped up to be. I was thoroughly dissapointed and wanted my money back when I walked out.
-Andrew