I’ve noticed a disturbing trend growing in the American people. It’s a trend regarding laziness. People now are becoming more and more intolerant toward the lazy man. This intolerance is completely unfounded and utterly disastrous to our established way of life.
There will always be lazy people. There always have been, and they’re firmly seated in their comfortable little places. Laziness is essential to our survival. If everyone was always worrying and bustling around trying to get things done, the gene pool would be full of people who die young due to heart problems and high blood pressure (hypertension). In fact, it is the lazy doctor who finally gets around to doing the surgery that saves the busy laborer’s life.
Major discoveries are always accomplished by lazy people. Ben Franklin was flying a kite, purely for recreational purposes, when he discovered electrical currents in lightning. Thomas Edison was trying to invent a way to get food to his bedside when he came up with the dumbwaiter. Alexander Fleming was trying to poison his nemesis when he found his pathogen rendered useless by penicillin. Albert Einstein was actually getting wasted at a bar in Zürich when he stumbled upon the photoelectric effect. Other notably lazy inventors and scientists include Leonardo da Vinci, Pierre and Marie Curie, and, of course, the anonymous beer-helmet inventor guy.
Much can be accomplished if one just sits back and lets life take him gently down its relaxing stream. Occasionally, it’s fine to put in a little effort in order to appease the missus, but hey, don’t try too hard. Relaxation is the key to happiness. The next time someone tells you that you’re being lazy, you can punch him in the face for me - if you feel like moving your fist that far.